Coming out doesn't always have a easy path. It can be messy and uncomfortable and scary. Venetia lets us in on her own coming out story as lesbian.
Okay, so this can quite a confusing story but I’ll try to be as clear as possible. So when I was in primary school I was never attracted to boys. My friends would always rave over boys and having boyfriends and whatnot, but I just was never into any of it. Yes, there were 2 or 3 guys I’ve had a crush on in my life but all those times I’ve been with someone (being a guy) I could never really see a future with them or anything along those lines. Nothing seemed long term - being attracted to guys was me experimenting. Because of this I realised in around 2013 that I was actually lesbian.
I never fully came to anyone because my closest friends who I’ve told never took me seriously and thought it to be a massive joke and a way of me seeking attention, and also because my dad, who takes care of me himself and is a single parent, is highly against homosexuality. These things cause me never to act on my new found sexuality and I kinda had to force my self into be a heterosexual, but later in around 2016, after years of being unhappy and not entirely being myself because I felt like my sexuality would get me kicked out of the house or alone because I’d lose friends, I decided to reveal to some people close to be that I was bisexual. This wasn’t entirely true since I was actually lesbian, but it was an easier way for me to come out, mainly because most people don’t believe bisexuality to be true or serious (which is such bs and a debate for later), but it just made me being homosexual a lot easier to tell people.
For that entire year I was the unhappiest I’ve ever been. I felt like my entire life was a lie because of this and I felt like I’d lost myself. This year though, after my dad was diagnosed with cancer for a second time in 9 years, I decided to fully come out. To my entire family who most of is entirely against homosexuality, but despite all the lies, unhappiness and anxiety I felt, they all accepted me for who I was. Even shedding tears, my dad told me that God gave me to him and he fully accepted me for the way I was and only wanted me to be happy and myself, and that was the most comforting, reassuring and most amazing thing anyone has ever told me.
My journey was an entire confusion. Even now, I don’t know how to act upon my sexuality because I’ve never let myself out there as lesbian because until now, and I’ve never approached girls the way I’d want to. I still fear rejection and being thought of as weird or whatever other negative/disgusting labels people put on the LGBTQ+ community. I even have to be weary of people (guys actually) who claim to want to be my friends, because most guys think lesbian girls are “cool”, or “hot” and that to me is just so low and disgusting. I’m still very new to all of this. I am just happy to finally be myself openly and honestly, even though there are many things I still need to learn and lots of other fears I need to overcome regarding my sexuality. Nonetheless, this wasn’t a decision for me. This is just how I was born. This is who I am. Since I can remember I always knew there was something different about me regarding gender and sexuality, and I am happy to have discovered it.